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Example 249: Blog in the Middle of Nowhere
category:Anime Blogs =Blog in the Middle of Nowhere= This is the Two-hundred-and-forty-ninth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers. : Topaz! There's a huge emergency! That there is, MAL is down! How am I going to talk to friends? Not only that, but my blogs will be problematic. Luckily I can just post them on my personal site, but it will look like I did one late! : That's not the emergency I mean, look at what arrived for you! *Ririchiyo holds up an envelope and opens it.* : Look at this letter! *Ririchiyo pulls a cardboard letter B out of the envelope.* Wow! Be careful that B doesn't sting you! : Not only that, listen to this note! *Riri sings a note.* Sounds haunting, but perhaps a Mother would enjoy it. : (Were the gags really necessary) In all seriousness though, this message that came for you says that the Elemental Breast Lords will start showing up today! What are they? Ghosts of Christmas past? Though I am interested in meeting anyone who goes by "Elemental Breast Lords"... ???: Good, because I, the Elemental Breast Lord of Earth, shall be your first opponent! Who said that! *Topaz turns to see, but instead gets a face full of perky breast.* Mmmpphh! : TOPAZ! Stop that! ???: Oh my, it seems my foolish little brother is getting fresh with his older sister. *Topaz struggles against the busty hug, but unfortunately gets free.* I'm surprised that YOU'RE the Elemental Breast Lord of Earth! But it looks like... Today's girl is: Kimi Aoi from Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon/Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere : It sounds like you know who I am. Fufufufu... However, even though you're my little foolish brother I'll still have to pun~ish you! Hopefully it's with more marshmallowing! : Topaz, stop being perverted! : *jiggles her breasts* Oh? Are you jealous? I'm sorry that I have so much, it must be intimidating to know that your internet person will be suffocated on my chest! Truly that would be terrible! : Wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you, Topaz! *turns to Kimi* And YOU! You can just stop it with the whole "My body is big and mature and thus better" talk! : *smirks* Make me, if you so choose, Boobless assistant! : Grrrr! FINE THEN! *Riri transforms into her demon form with the cute horns.* I guess that's another advantage over having Rika as my assistant... : Oh my my? So you can transform then? Perhaps I shall do the same... *Kimi starts pat her outfit. As she does so, pieces of her outfit fall off. Eventually she is only wearing a tub top (that barely contains her huge breasts) and very tight leggings.* I like this transformation! : If you think that you can intimidate me just by showing off more of your dumb chest you've got another thing coming! : Oh? *Riri charges at Kimi with her scythe drawn. Kimi does little to avoid it besides rock back and forth, starting to dance. However, when Riri takes a swing dozens of small flower screens appear over Kimi's body, shielding her from the attack. Kimi continues to dance while in the bubble, avoiding all of Riri's attacks. Riri eventually exhausts her small body swinging uselessly at Kimi's dancing body. She falls to her knees and her transformation ends.* : ...How? How am I unable to defeat you? : I'm a goddess of dance and sexuality. It's impossible to hit me if I don't want to be hit. Is that the reason you're considered the "Elemental Breast Lord of Earth?" Because otherwise I can't see the reasoning. : Silly blogger, can't you tell it's because my breasts look like globes? *jiggles* That's a silly reason! : That it is, though unfortunately my boss Zonde cannot think of a better reason. It seems that her pride in her own chest was what lead her to rule over the Elemental Breast Lords as well. However, I know better. B~ut that's something you'll have to find out on your o~wn... Stupid teasing information... : Fufufufu, would you rather I tease you with these? *squeezes breasts and cleavage* ...Uh... : Oh my, it seems that I've distracted you long enough though. Don't you think that it's about time to begin talking about me? Wait, you WANT me to blog about you? : Why not? It's a way to get my sexuality known all over the internet. At least once your silly "MAL" is back up... : Watch out Topaz! She might get stronger if you blog about her! That's a chance we'll just have to take! Also, as a reminder I've only seen the anime series. Those books are heavy, yo! Head Hair Kimi has long, wavy hair with a LOT of volume. Seriously, it's easy to confuse her hair with ojou curls, and not subtle ones at that. But no, I don't think that she actually has curls, though she does keep white ribbons in her hair. I think that her hair could envelop her torso, she has so much. Anyway, getting away from her hair's volume the length is great. Her hair goes past her thighs even, which is often great. It's even a great brown color, one of my personal favorites (though it could be a bit darker). Overall it's a very likable hair style and while her bangs aren't anything special I do really like her hair. *Grade: A- Eyes Kimi's eyes are also to my liking. Sadly not by wearing glasses, but instead by being a nice color. Her eye color seems to be a mix of purple or brown, depending on which picture it is. I prefer purple ordinarily, but brown is also nice as it matches her hair. Her eyes are also shaped nicely. There's a slight tsurime that gives the impression that her eyes are only partially open. It does work well as she looks mischievous or plotting something. Not something even necessarily, but more in a naughty fashion. Her lines are also usually drawn pretty softly, giving an impression of her being kind, warm, and motherly as well. *Grade: B Face Like I had said about Kimi's eyes, her face is also pretty motherly. I suppose that this is to show that she's a great older sister, but I do like it. She's also usually smiling, which is cute to look at. Her facial structure is pretty nice as well, the anime as a whole has a nice soft tone that makes skin look smooth and bouncy. Her features are also small, with a simple dot for a nose and a fair mouth that fits her face. Her hair on the sides also frames her face pretty well too. About the only minus I can see is that her chin seems pointed. As a result, her cheeks really don't get the pinch-able volume that they should. *Grade: A- Body Build Now we get to the possibly controversial part of the blog. You see, Kimi has a very exaggerated body. It's VERY hourglass-shaped, with large breasts and wide hips. Her thighs are likewise very large, and her butt is presumably big as well. I say presumably as we don't get a good look at it but we DO see Tomo's in an official image (she's another similarly-shaped character in the series), and her butt looks huge and squishy so I presume that Kimi is the same way. There is an image of her laying on her stomach, but her anatomy seems stretched so I have to take that image with a grain of salt. As for her thighs, they seem very MEATY and I'd love her to let me use them as a pillow or squeeze me between them. Her navel is also nice, and I'd say that her exposed tummy is one of her best visual features. The controversial part is whether or not Kimi's body is too exaggerated. Me, I enjoy this art style. Plus it's not like Kimi seems out of place, all the girls are either massively mature or very flat chested. So I can see how this could give people problems, but since this blog is my opinion I'll give her a great score. *Grade: A Breasts Kimi is exaggerated here too, if you haven't noticed. Her breasts are big, to the point of being about as large as her head, and are very perky. In fact, they're nearly spherical in shape! She also seems to bounce quite a bit, to the point where walking could cause her to be bouncy. Of course, this also lends itself to her dances well. In fact, there's even a part in a battle where she gets cut on the chest by a spear, but then uses her breasts to bounce the spear up to her face to lick the tip. Faux-paizuri is ALWAYS appreciated! *ahem*, Where was I... Oh, yeah, Kimi's chest. Unfortunately we never see her topless in-series, and despite there being a few images of her in the bath we don't see her nipples at all. Judging from Tomo yet again, Kimi has fair-sized nipples, about as small as could look good with her large breasts. I'll also add that a lot of her "perkiness" probably comes from the form-fitting uniform so her chest doesn't look TOO fake (I'd estimate). I will say that Kimi IS on the line of whether I find her breasts attractive or if they're too big (as you can tell by her score, it's the former). *Grade: A- Clothes Kimi is most often seen in her school uniform. However, Musashi Academy has a very different school uniform from usual. It consists of a multi-layer outfit of whites and blacks with long, flowing sleeves and fingerless gloves with bows on them. The bottom reminds me a lot of pantyhose, skintight and showing the curves but it's not as see-through. I DO know that it shows off her lower body very well. The entire outfit reminds me a lot of spandex or a leotard in a way. It also consists of a lot of pieces it seems, as while the show continues Kimi slowly loses more and more parts until it's just her pants and a tube-top like top. The parts she lost were all white, meaning that the normal uniform has a white stomach area and upper chest (with a second part on the lower chest). It's unknown if Kimi wears underwear or not. From a sexual perspective, this is an extremely good outfit, but aesthetically it doesn't seem as great. I imagine that it might take a second person to help girls get dressed! As far as other clothing goes, Kimi really doesn't wear many other outfits. There's a white bikini-like outfit that barely seems to cover anything, but it seems unwieldy as well. Personally I don't think it's supportive either as there's not connection under the bosom. The thong bottom is a plus, but that doesn't negate the bad top. Overall, Kimi's lack of variety is what's doing her in. Heck, even though she's a divine maiden she doesn't even wear a miko outfit (as far as I remember). *Grade: C+ Mind Personality Kimi is an interesting, if bold, character to say the least. She's a big, showy type of persona, and seems to be the type to want the spotlight a lot. She usually steps aside so that others can show their skills though. In fact, through the two seasons Kimi only fought about twice. The first was amazing, with her dancing around and being sexy in general before delivering mental and physical slaps to her opponent. I will complain about the second though, where she basically nullifies the opponents attacks and reflected them (she(?) attacked by gaining weight and forcing her(?) opponent to feel it. However, Kimi's powers of dance and erotica make her immune to such body-altering effects and the opponent was forced to endure the weight gain. Why yes, Horizon is a silly series). I'm sure that she tends to be a "secret weapon", especially as she's nearly invulnerable, but I would've liked to see her battle more. I do like both divine magic users (which Kimi is, in a way) as well as defensive characters and ones who have unique abilities. Hence why I respect her abilities so much! And just because she's on the sidelines doesn't mean that she's not being a huge ham and chewing scenery either. With her tendency to sexually harass others (like her brother, only without the physical contact) and give strange nicknames (both to herself and others), she was one of my favorite characters in the series, if not the absolute favorite. She's just so much FUN! That said, Kimi isn't all fun and sex games. The reason she's so cheerful and happy is that she never wants her brother to cry again. He was on the verge of death from the despair of losing someone and was nearly comatose. However, Kimi wanted him to feel ANYTHING so she stuffed spices in his face and abused him. He even bit her hand, but even that was a relief to Kimi as it meant he was responding. After a while the two of them shared a long cry and have never cried again. So remember, even though she calls him her "foolish brother" she still loves him and never wants to make him cry. She's also a skilled tactician and knows just when to join in a battle. So while she seems like a goofy airhead, she's actually VERY intelligent. Kimi's VA is Chiwa Saitou. Surprisingly Horizon isn't a SHAFT work since that's the case. But I digress, as Chiwa Saitou did a GREAT job making Kimi personality shine. She just makes her seem so sultry and erotic. It's hard to describe how perfect she seems for this role. Maggie Flecknoe, the English VA, really can't compare. I mean, I'm sure she tried her best, but Chiwa Saitou just did it perfectly. *Grade: B+ Libido As you can tell, Kimi has a high amount of sexuality. In fact, "Erotica" is one of her powers, and she offers her dances up to her god whenever she battles for more divine power. She also loves to tease others and even gives a small boy one of her ribbons in the second season (the onlooking men were all jealous). However, when push comes to shove I don't know how into erotica Kimi is. She doesn't seem to have a romantic subplot, unlike many of the other characters. *Grade: B Age Kimi seems to be your basic teenage high school girl. At least age-wise. I do like older sisters though, but her brother is technically the same age (I don't think they're twins, it's just coincidence) so it's not as perfect as it could be. *Grade: B **Total Grades: 80 **Average score: 8.8 **Final Grade: B+ And with that, the blog is complete. What do you think of it, Kimi? : Looks wonderful, now the whole world will be able to cast their eyes on my beauty. : Didn't they when they watched your show? : Fufufu, I suppose that they did, boobless assistant. But I suppose it's time for me to defeat YOU now, Topaz.... *Kimi approaches Topaz. He looks around for safety, but Kimi pins his arms against a wall.* : You see, there's quite a large bounty on your head. However, do know that I'd never allow my foolish brother to cry ever again. Beware though, the other Elemental Breast Lords will not be as forgiving as I am. However, I have to make this look good and do evil. W-what are you going to do! : I'll curse you with a kiss! *kisses the top of Topaz's head*. My chest may be wearing black, but my heart is not. : WAIT, then what was the point of fighting me? : That was to test your strength. You see, soon it will be time for Topaz to face a named villain, and I'm sure that you'll be useful in the battle. Believe me, I have been known to have great foresight... But for now, I shall be off! *waves* What a nice Elemental Lord. : You only say that because YOU didn't fight her, but it is a relief that we could conserve our strength for the next battle. Meanwhile *In the depths of hell* Techie: Ohoho! It looks like your little Elemental Breast Lords aren't much better than my mindless probes. At least THEY fought Topaz directly! Zonde: That's not my fault! How was I supposed to know that Kimi would see her brother in Topaz? Techie: Well, isn't that one of his abilities... Zonde: SHUT UP! And don't worry, I have a plan. After all, the Elemental Lord of Wind HATES her male costar. Isn't that right? *Suddenly a ninja drops down beside the two. Her breasts jiggle as she stands up.* Lord of Wind: You are correct. I will do everything within my power to see to it that perverted dung beetle sees his end.